I'm delighted to host author and poet, Forrest Stepnowski.
About the Book: “Journey to the Rainbow’s End: A Drag Queen’s Odyssey”
A collection of poetry that describes the coming of age and coming out of a man who struggled with his self-worth and identity, in the hopes to show others who share similar struggles that they are not alone.
What does it mean to “Journey to the Rainbow’s end”?
Answer: “Journeying to the rainbow’s end is about allowing yourself to be open to change, and, exploring everything that comes your way, with no regret, or hesitancy, and acknowledging that there is really never a real end to the rainbow, just a continuation of the journey called life.”
Excerpt from “Journey to the Rainbow’s End” by Forrest Robert Stepnowski
Chasing the Rainbow’s End
Once upon a time, as the tale goes,
There was a little boy, odd, but loving and nurturing,
But scared by painful memories and living night terrors,
I sit in the center, trapped by four walls,
Going crazy to the confinement of my soul,
Debating what is reality and what is fantasy.
Closing my eyes to daydream my fears and tears away,
Wanting to escape into yesteryear,
Remembering it’s my past that tends to haunt me.
Whatever happened to the fairytales that made our dreams come true,
And our desires become reality.
But my childhood ended before my adulthood really began.
I see the rainbow and its vivid colors that reach the heavens,
Wishing they would remain forever in the twilight of dusk,
Like a midsummer night’s dream.
Chasing the rainbow hoping to find the end,
But it taunts me so,
The end always escapes me.
I come to and face reality and wake up from my daydreaming,
Rediscovering the hurt and the bruises I thought I healed from years ago,
Do I see the rainbows end within my grasp?
I stand underneath the center of the rainbow,
To the left I see my past and the journey of healing,
Becoming a stronger man
Still standing underneath the center of the rainbow’s peak,
To the right I see hazy images, future events that have yet to become,
I become frightened, like a child who constantly lives in the dark.
Losing my breath over and over again,
Why am I constantly afraid of the dark?
When the dark has been my home for so long.
I begin to shake off the haze like a lost boy in neverland,
Can I rise from the tattered puzzle pieces that were my life?
Or do I constantly ride the rollercoaster of highs and lows.
Chasing rainbows over and over again,
Hoping to catch the unicorn so that my dreams will come true,
Or is this just another delusion of make believe.
What will I find at the rainbow’s end?
Will there be a pot of gold or a leprechaun who will grant me a wish?
When will I grow up from my land of make believe?
The truth is always hard to swallow,
Why do I constantly feel trapped under the rainbow?
Am I suffocating or being forced to realize that the rainbow’s end is a myth.
This is the rainbow of life,
Sometimes the colors are vivid and beautiful,
Sometimes the colors are faded and dismal.
My journey to the rainbow’s end is enduring…
Never ending, never final, with pain comes healing,
Empowered, Strengthened, Enlightened
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Journey to the Rainbow's End: A Drag Queen's Odyssey (Available on Kindle and Paperback)
Forrest Robert Stepnowski is an advocate, writer, social worker, and performance artist in the Pacific Northwest. He has been writing poetic works and prose for most of his life. He realized how important it would be to share his work with others, who may have tread similar paths of self-hate, self-deprecation, and self-loathing, in the hopes that they find they weren’t alone. Helping others who have been deemed as “different” because of varying sexual orientations or identities to realize that they are not deviants nor are the “against human nature” has always been of grave importance to him. He wants this group of beautiful people to know they are part of a collective, on an island where being different is embraced and accepted.